What Pity Party? Welcome

This is not the normal blog that I write, but this is one that has been on my heart for a little while due to something that was said to me by someone from afar. The comment was one born out of bitterness and hatred says that my life is a “pity party” and “cheese to go with your wine”. Here are the thoughts that raced through my brain as I read this message.

Do I really have a pitiful life that is full of wining? Life is all about context of what we read and the myriad of situations that we have to paddle our way through. It would be super easy to hop on the pity train as this person said, but I don’t have to, nor do I want to.

Pity Train Left

The Pity Train Left Years Ago

What do I think about that comment that was sent to me? Here is what I think. I feel sorrow for that person. I feel sorrow because it’s not about pity. It’s not about me or them! It’s not about the things we acquire. It’s not about the cars, houses, vacations to Disney World, the pay raise, or the new place we decide to move to make our lives better.

Here’s what we need to put off

We need to put off the selfish attitude that we carry through life. Here are some ways that selfishness exist in all of us.

  • Selfishness is a reflex that we expect to be served.
  • Selfishness is a reflex to feel that we are owed.
  • Selfishness is a reflex to want all the praise for ourselves.
  • Selfishness is a reflex to expect things will go our way.
  • Selfishness is a reflex to feel that we have the right to react negatively to being crossed.

Why is selfhisness a reflex? is not something that you have to think about or think about to do. It requires zero premeditation. You don’t have to decide to be selfish. It’s in our nature from birth to be selfish.


I feel sorrow because that is the attitude that so many people have today that their lives are horrible because it’s not the way that they wanted it to go. It’s not good because of the weather, your job, your neighbor, your spouse, your daughter or son or a relative that is difficult. The fundamental problem is US. We are the problem!

I feel sorrow because they don’t know God. They don’t know that as John Piper says, “That God is most glorified in me when I am most satisfied in Him.” What does that mean? It means that my life is not joyful or sorrowful because of the circumstances, possessions or people in my life. It is because JESUS CHRIST IS MY LORD AND SAVIOR! He is my hope. He is my joy. I don’t pity my life at all. I love my life!

Here’s why I love my life

Here’s how John Piper describes it:

How did Jesus describe conversion? “The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which a man found and covered up. Then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field” (Matthew 13:44). I read that text for years without seeing the phrase “in his joy.”

And every sermon I ever heard on it was, “You can have the kingdom. Sell what you’ve got. Take the kingdom.” It was all in terms of decision, resolve, commitment. But that little phrase “in his joy” changes everything. Now I can say, “Take my car. Take my computer. Take my wedding ring. I get the treasure, and I can buy it all back someday in heaven, a hundredfold on this earth and in heaven forever.”

My joy is not of this world

I am a saint. Not by what the world calls a saint in a sarcastic tone, but as in Galatians 2:20, ” “I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God.” I am living, because I died and Christ is alive in a new I, which trusts him.”

My joy is not of the things I have, but that I have Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. He gives me joy, peace, comfort and a purpose for my life even in the midst of my wife battling cancer for her life.

I have every reason to pity the life that I have had, but that would turn it into selfishness and demand before God that I deserve something better. If I list out all the things that I have had happen in my life like my parents dying in the car with me from a drunk driver. The many relatives that I know that have died from cancer and all of the other things that by the world’s standards declare that I have a pitiful life. At one time before salvation I used to think that way. The way of selfishness and pity for all that I had been robbed of. But here’s how I see my life.

REJOICE, I am a new creation

  • I have a beautiful wife
  • I have wonderful children (all 4)
  • I have a good job
  • I have a home to live in
  • I have an amazing church family (the body of Christ)
  • I have amazing relatives
  • Most of all, I am a new creation because Christ Jesus chose me to be His!

My hope is that all of those that are weary of looking to the world for answers for the meaning of life will look to Jesus Christ (God).

Matt Chandler Gospel

I am a husband, father, business owner and follower of Jesus Christ my Lord and Savior. My hope is that you find these articles helpful in your walk through life.

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