For the first few months, I found that everything that we were walking through was beyond overwhelming. I didn’t know how to handle the stress of roller-coaster emotions. So, I found that blogging about it was a form of therapy for me and a way to communicate to everyone that we know what was going on in our lives.
As the spring continued on and it rolled into summer months and then fall, I found myself very worn and I was in a state that I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. It was the new normal to our lives. This thing called cancer, which invaded and took over our lives completely.
The Storm Rages On
It’s hard to describe this thing “Cancer”, it’s like you are caught up in the sea in the small boat of life cruising along during a sunny day admiring the sun, the spray of mist while the water laps against the hull of your boat. Then suddenly, you are caught up in a squall that tosses you about. This tossing about is not just for a little while, just as it started you think that it’ll end soon. It’s only a short storm! How wrong you are. The storm rages on for a couple of days, then weeks, then months and at some point in the storm you get used to the tossing about. You don’t recognize the storm anymore. The storm has become your new normal, you’re new calm.
What Happened To The Blog?
So after the summer and fall went by, I decided that I didn’t want to talk about it anymore. I was so caught up in the storm that I didn’t have time to write about it. So, I decided to take the site down and deleted the current version. I was conflicted about whether I should write anymore. Thinking, how could this help anyone else, it’s just my ramblings. But after a couple months, I realize that it may or may not be helpful, so I restored what I could find of the blog and here it is today.
Back To The Storm
This year has flown by. Being caught up in the storm of cancer this year has made this year fly by. I hardly remember what happened each month. All I know is there was a constant that took place, which was to drive to Dartmouth, see the doctors, go home, work, take care of family, sleep.
I think there are times that when you are dealing with major illnesses or anything else that rocks your whole world, it disrupts so much that you don’t know where to go anymore. It just feels like autopilot has been put on and you’ve lost yourself in just taking care of responsibilities. I’m not saying that life is hopeless, but it just becomes confusing and messy.
I have realized one thing that is so very true, whether you are a Christian or not, “LIFE IS MESSY!” There is no clean, easy life. Life is complicated because people are complicated.
What To Do With The Messy
In dealing with the messiness of life and people, you can’t stop there and dwell on the bad. You have to dwell on the good. This is one of my favorite verses.
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. What you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.”
What Paul is talking about in this verse is we are going to struggle with being distracted with demanding thoughts and emotions. We don’t have to be a victim to those emotions and thoughts. We don’t have to let those thoughts take us captive. We do have a choice to fight against those thoughts that demand attention and want to drag us down into despair.
What God wants from us is to dwell on those things that are lovely, true, honorable, good. Where do we find those things? Those things come from God first and foremost. It’s not saying that there isn’t anything good or lovely in this world. But the reality is that if we want to know what are those good things to dwell on to fight against the bad, we have to turn to God’s Word to find out.
If you just forward one verse to verse 7, you will see “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” and then at the end of verse 9, “and the God of peace will be with you.” Isn’t that amazing!
God will give you peace beyond all understanding and He will be with you, because He knows what true peace is.
This is where I rest.