May 7, 2019
This past week was not as much fun as anyone would like to have walked through. I have thought for several days how to describe this past week. There is so much involved in walking through any major illness. As the days fade away and we continue to walk forward through this journey time slips away and here we are in the month of May.
It is hard to believe that we are in the month of May. Where did the past four months go? In many aspects it seems like it was yesterday that we found out that Amy had brain cancer. Many days it seems like life is normal. We as human beings made in the image of God have an amazing ability to adapt to anything in life. This is our new normal. I guess to everyone outside of us, this is a huge journey. It seems to surreal because we are in the thick of it still and our world is very small right now.
So, two weeks ago we had a great couple appointments at DHMC and it was one of the highlights of this whole journey. Then Amy had a medication change. She has not started Chemotherapy yet. That is coming soon. But this medication change really knocked her down big time. It really seemed like all the progress that she made forward was stripped away in a couple days.
We got an emergency meeting with the docs and thankfully it was not the cancer that was causing all these new symptoms. It was the medication change. There really is nothing worse than watching someone you love go through this stuff and being completely and utterly helpless to do anything to help them or take it all away. If there was any wish to be given, it would be to take all of the pain, suffering, illness away, but I am not Christ Jesus.
I don’t say that sarcastically either, never. I know that Jesus can do anything because He is our savior. Look at His life, death and resurrection. Look at all of the historical documents, all of the prophecies that God predicted and came true, look at His very Word. There is more than enough evidence to prove that Jesus is REAL and that He is God. (I digress).
It is in those moments that you have to watch anyone that you love suffer. That is one feeling that I really don’t care for. I would say yes, I hate it. As a father and husband that is the worst feeling when any of my kids or my wife are hurting or sick and you can’t remove that from them.
Thankfully, she got off the new meds and started feeling better the next day. Her energy is up and is feeling better today too. I am so thankful that God gives us wisdom in what to do with all of this medical stuff. Yes, I marvel at the amazing technological advancements in treating illnesses for the human body, but the reality is that it is not surprising that we have so much illness. We are under the curse of sin. All of creation is under the curse of sin.
For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us. For the earnest expectation of the creation eagerly waits for the revealing of the sons of God. For the creation was subjected to futility, not willingly, but because of Him who subjected it in hope; because the creation itself also will be delivered from the bondage of corruption into the glorious liberty of the children of God. For we know that the whole creation groans and labors with birth pangs together until now.Romans 8:18-22
Ups and Downs of Life
There are going to be ups and downs in life, no matter how much effort we put into exercise, eating well, working hard, saving money, building friendships. Something is going to ruin it eventually. So the question now is, How are you going to respond to it?
I like what Tim Keller Says in his book “walking with God through Pain and Suffering.”
You don’t really know Jesus is all you need until Jesus is all you have.”Tim Keller
I understand that quote completely. For the first two weeks while Amy was in the hospital I drove every day morning and night to and from the hospital. My only purpose was to go home sleep, shower and take care of the kids and then go back to the hospital to be with my wife. I don’t know if I have ever mentioned it before now, but this is as real as it gets.
Every day on that 45 min drive, I cried the whole way to and from the hospital and prayed to God. Jesus was all I had on those drives. It was the only thing that made sense of what I had to do and what we were going through as a family. What else could I do?
It’s all about how we respond to the ups and downs of life. There are fundamental truths about God that are unquestionable.
- God is sovereign over all things
- God is love
- God is Just
- God will complete His work in me
- Once you are in His hands, nothing is going to remove you from God’s hands
So, I could be angry at this life, but what is that really saying to my creator, Lord and Savior? It would be like saying He is not enough. Christ has to be at the center of our lives otherwise the ups and downs of life would be unbearable.
Some may think that we are pawns of God, that he is moving us about on the chess board of the universe and this was not meant for us. We deserve better! That really is the wrong way to look at it. We don’t deserve anything, but God’s wrath poured out on us! That is what we truly deserve.
Change Your Perspective!
How we should look at everything in life is….
- We don’t deserve anything
- God blesses us with everything
- God is sanctifying us through these trials, with the goal of growing us to be more like Christ
- He wants us to cry out to him, trust in him, rely on him through trials
It really doesn’t do any good to get angry, that is Satan tempting us to turn away from God, from your Savior.
Last week was hard to walk through, but our eyes are on Christ as best as we can. He is the center of our lives. I say this a lot, because it is so true. It doesn’t make us perfect, it’s not about living perfectly, it’s about living a life that is trusting, glorifying and praising God in all the ups and downs.
I am accepting donations through FATACT Graphics, LLC which is me. Any support is greatly appreciated and helpful to walk through this battle.